ALISZA.12.

our hopes and expectations

black holes and revelations

my blog is where i penned down my thoughts and feelings,
scram if all you ever do is to spam&criticise.
i love you too.

All i really wanted was some of your time.
Instead you told me lies when someone else was in your mind.
What'd you do to me? Look what you did to me.
I though that you were someone who would do me right.
You played with my emotions and made me cry.
What you'd do to me? Can't take what you did to me.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

This troubled heartache won't go away,

I think there might be something wrong with me.

I take a deep breath and maybe i'll stop this shaking.

God please don't forsake me,I might be crazy.

for the past four days,

i have been watching loads of movies online.

i) Kungfu Panda; with my youngest brother

ii) You Dont Mess With The Zohan; with my brothers and uncle

iii) Material Girls

iv) The Eye(Alt); with everyone

v) Nancy Drew

vi) Hairspray

and I read one of Jodi Picoult's book.

it is about Mariah whose husband,Collin-a popular soccer jockey,

has decided to file a divorce because of some other women.

Her daughter,Faith, can see/talk to angels.

and it goes on.

did i mention that my uncle fell down from his bike?

he so semangat want to cycle all the way to Changi with his friends

while there was a heavy downpour.

and he purposely show his wound to me,

just a few centimetres away from my face.

grossness.

i saw RHM aka SG today(:

You're the one that I wanted to find.

And anyone who tried to deny you,

must be out of their mind.

Friday, June 27, 2008

you`re beautiful;

when i saw your face,

in a crowded place.

and i dont knw wht to do.

that is what exactly had happened to me,

except that it happens every single morning of schoolday.

Mr. Sunday, can you please come faster?

i am really looking forward to it.

ini satu kisah

bukan cerita dongeng dulu kala.

ini kisah nyata tentang pertemuan aku dan si dia.

tiba tiba, ku dilamun cinta.

dengan dia, yang sering ku puja.

Buat kali pertama,

tika ku terpandangnya.

Dia balas senyumku,
ku melompat terharu.

He would ask me why I was smiling and I would just laugh.

I could never admit that I was smiling because he was there.

(this has got nothing to do with the contents of my post)

how I had spent my holidays.

i went to get books from popular for me to read.
and i found myself 2 depressing books.
and i had finished reading one.
the books.
it is like seeing your old friend and catching up with them.
them filling you with knowledge and language.
and i am not referring to those textbooks or newspapers.
and after getting them, i got food of course.
after which i rented 2DVDs and i have already finished watching in a day.
Nancy Drew is a pretty nice movie, i'd say.
her bf is so exceptionally cute.

and i was thinking how fast the days passed by.
what if i dont want to go school.
and my Alevel oral is next monday.
how exciting.

another night, another dream wasted on you.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

//TO COLLEEN HUANG//

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY, SophisticatedLian.
may your wishes and dreams come true.
this is a little something for you.

we know you adore Angelina Jolie much.

we know that you LOVE the number 19.

uh-huh.

all of us know how significant it is to you.

lets just say you look forward to PE not because of the training.

but because of some thing or rather, someone.

and somehow, the letter L happens to always be the initials.

and you will be embarassed whenever we make a scene when we see LandH .

somehow, i have a feeling he knows too.

WE LOVE YOU BABEEE!

insanity hits home}

Common Tests are overrrrr.

how awesome is that?

and i have got no school on Thursday and Friday.

can you guys see the bright smile on my face now?

and i am in a shopping mood for fancy stuffs.

and also books to kill my boredom.

dvds maybe to keep me alive, especially Gossip Girl.

and to go to starbucks to see the CG.

take long bus rides around Singapore to reminisce and self-teach.

to take train every weekday's morning to see SG.

the best part of all, i wish to do these by myself.

i want to be alone for these few days.

and no, i am not being emo.

i just need a space of my own and time on my own.

went to vivo for a while with A06 before leaving for Bishan.

dad fetched me and car-ed to Woodlands for Swensens.

and i received a pack of Narnia cards.

i bet they are thinking that i am in primary school or something.

nevermind, there is like >5 William Moseley cards inside.

and i push aside Skander's cards.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

tuesday;

one more day and i will be free from Common Test. Well, my greatest worry now will be Economics, which i had totally screwed up the essay part. but yeah, i am just looking forward to tomorrow! and i will enjoy my two-day 'holiday'. omg, yayness.
speaking of which, i have yet to revise my human geography.

im off to take a short nap now. love you too.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

{uh huh

Common Tests in less than 24hrs time.
and im panic-studying.

i slept at four yesterday, feeling a sense of accomplishment.
i was reading phy geog and listening to malay songs.
uh huh, you heard me right.
its one of those rarest moment when I am listening to repeated malay songs by Aliff Aziz.
and mind you, I am not a fan of his.
grossness.
I fell in love with his songs - Ini Satu Kisah/Sayang Sayang.
and the language used is like those typical malay or sth.
and please eh.
i dont listen to those jiwang-jiwangnye lagu, okay.

good luck A06 for CT. i know we are all panic-studying. hahah.

off now to CP and get new shoes. bye,loves.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

panicking}

slept @ 5am and woke up @ 3pm.
grossness.
schl is re-opening, ppl.
zomfg, and i have yet to complete studying.
oh well, i shl jst try my best fr CT ay.
and dad came over.
he said the Milo i made for him was tasteless.
but i find it sweet, like totally.
and i need money, again.

thats it. gt to complte phy geog nw.

monday - GP and Malay.

tuesday - H2 Economics and H2 Literature. wht was i thinking when i was choosing subjects.

wednesday - H2 Geography and H1 Math.

thursday&friday - we'll talk about it when it comes[:

loads love.

Friday, June 20, 2008

yes.no.

Love is when you find someone,

you can really be yourself with

that you can share anything with like a bestfriend...

its when you cant even imagine,

what you would be like with some other person.

when words dont even come close to explaining

how much you love them,

you know he's the one.

with lots of love.

this is scary.

B:"hi. your name?"

*wth, you msn-ed me frst. you shld have known my name. ITS CLEARLY STATED THR*

G:"HUH.uhm, my msn nick."

B:"oh. hahah, thts your real name? nice."

G:"no, its my mum's name. DUH"

B:"haha, how old are you?"

G:"oh,16"

B:"do you ********** "

wth.closed coversation box and blocked contact.

grossness.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

tell me about it}

FEAST YOUR EYES WITH THESE ~~prtty~~ HANDSOME PHOTOS.

someone should create a 3D movie filled with CG/HG/MGs.

time passes very fast, huh
its alrd thursday. grossness.

went to Serene Cntre with youngest bro to meet up with bffs.

okay, we shared teh tarik/cookies&cream icecrm, uh huh.

and i tried so hard to stdy.

but again, i gt distracted.
behold, for my CT results wont be very good.
yeah, i alrd say this without even doing it alrd.

and my bro was bullying dinesh, hilarously funny.

and he keeps talking to him only.

lol, you shld have seen dinesh's irritated face.

talking abt 'undertaker','mat kental' and 'no muscles'.

mind you, my brother will keep on ranting about nonsense.
im so sorry dude, i tried to save you.

but uhm, he just wnted to walk with you&sit with you.

ps, i think guys with lip/tongue piercing are cool and of course i'm not referring to those bengs/mats/wannabes. grossness. spot the similarities in the photos of guys.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

100th post(:

100 significant events in my life.

1) 23December1991.
2) my first steps.
3) going to mum's 2nd wedding, then
4) going to dad's 2nd wedding.
5) my BIRTHDAY PARTYs.
6) my long-lost childhood friend that shared the same nickname as me, Shasha
7) holding Hel's hand whn im just 5/6yrs old (: and him being all childish.
8) playing old-school games with my cousin, who is now all so grown-up and become mat Emo. he is always there for me when im small(: haha, we always compare heights!
9) me and Dad's private outings
10) entering Primary School same as Hel and Mas.
11) winning first place for Talentime with my friends.
12) having my first closest,best friend known as Farihah.
13) getting siblings, who can be as annoying as hell.
14) having my first closest male buddy who is irritating all the time yet he is everyone's eyecandy in school lastime(: mr. cool!
15) BIRTHDAY PRESENTS, of course.
16) FRIENDS OUTING
17) INDONESIA trips(:
18) my childhood friend whom i always called him by the name of Mat. and no, he is not a mat okay! love him to bits.Y he is always with me during overseas trips although we are not related by blood. i have a photo of us tgthr stl, eating! and that time when we were on the bus @late night @some part of Indonesia he requested to my granny that he wantd to sit nxt to me! so cute can!
19) get into the smartst class in pri.6 and me being the dumb ones in the class.
20) teacher commenting my articulation then saying i shld be a BBC news reporter(:
21) passed my PSLE, getting into express stream?
22) making a fool out of myself while trying to find ME.
23) sleep-overs with cousins.
24) playing 'camping' in the living room with my uncle&cousins.
25) learning how to skate before i actually learnd hw to cycle.
26) staying back in schl for no particular reaason with Nabeelah, going over to her house a lot of times when im in lower sec. being silly Y
27) meeting JAMIE AND SHI and becoming bffsY
28) staying back just to see our crushes.
29) creating code names. 5936Y425.92626.34.38.99's.CGs.MGs.FGs.HGs.
30) making the phone booth our favourite hangout. *coughs*
31) walking past DC evry evening to see 5936and425.
32) drinking orange juice even when i don't rly like it.
33) while waiting fr jmie, shi and i were praising abt 5936and425 just to realise that both of them are above us and possibly hearing what we've just said.
34) <-- its a GROSS number.
35) having afiqa and annabelle as GFs and laughing at everything.Y
36) GFs outings,secrets shared,cam-whorings.
37) being in top10 fr class positions in sec3, when i decided to stop fooling around.
38) was Y .
39) more outings.
40) seeing TAUFIK performing and getting high Y
41) talked to Joakim and took a photo with him Y
42) SINGAPORE IDOL 2 Outings with BFFs/GFs
43) meeting JonathanLeong @ CP with BFFs.
44) DAD/GFS/BFFS helping me get over stress Y
45) getting mre than 3As for O'Level.
46) getting into preferred JC Y
47) knowing DINESH better. Y
48) gettin into a wonderful class Y
49) HAPPIER and more BLISSED.
50) knowing that friendship is not only about saying it, but also to show it.

the other 50 will be expressed through pictures&quotes.

Beauty gets the attention. Personality gets the heart.

She just let go. Before him she had never been strong. He made her the person she is today, by breaking her heart into pieces, and making her find the pieces herself.

It may seem like the wrong thing to do, but you have to forget about the guywho forgot about you.

it's amazing how one boy can change the way you think of other boys,just by not being therewhen you needed him the most.

don't you just love how every girls profile is
about a guy, but he never knows every
single word of it is for him.
That's the thing about letting old lovers go. You don't stop loving some of them. There are a couple you love no less than you ever did. You're not going to try and make it work again, but if they needed you, you'd drop everything.

just because you're beautiful doesn’t meanyou can treat people like they don’t matter

improve our looks,not our minds Because we knowthat boys are stupid, Not blind.
You make the world more beautiful, just by living in it.

true best friends; are those that are
aware of how stupid you are, have
experienced it first hand, & still choose
to be seen with you in public
he said "i'll love you forever"
she smiled and said "just warn me
when forever starts to end"

Forget about the people from the past, theres a reason they didnt make it to your future.
you don’t get to choose, you just fall &you end up with someone in front of you,who is so wrong, yet so incredibly right
in kindergarten, you're judged on how many toys you have. in high school, you're judged on how many boyfriends you've had.

life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. so, love the people who treat you right,forget about the ones who don't.
you can't just be friends with someone you're in love with, it's just not that easy
one of these days maybe your magic wont affect me, and your kiss wont make me weak. but no one in this world knows me the way you know me, so youll probably always have a spell on me.

You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.
your hands they move like waves over me
beneath the moon, tonight, we're the sea
i thought i lost you somewhere but you were never really ever there at all.

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to never let you down probably will.You will probably have your heart broken more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt. Because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

i'll load the rest other time okay. its like 3am soon.

goodnight,loves.

Monday, June 16, 2008

12 dos&don'ts

1) do not text/use yr handphone all the time.
2) behave properly.
3) do not lie, be sincere in whatever you say.
4) be lady-like, i guess.(depends on the company you're having)
5) do not pretend/act to be like those bimbos.
6) no dude-language!
7) do not act/react too fast (get what i mean?)
8) DO NOT read books.
9) DO NOT embarass yourself (i know you're scared but take a chill pill)
10) DO TEXT US about how you're doing though.
11) BE YOURSELF
12) LASTLY, ENJOY the day. you're gna love it.

okay, here.

i told you the next post will be dedicated to you.

MUST REMEMBER TO OBEY RULE#8!

okay, i love you dudette.

have a wild of a time!

okay, not THAT WILD.

*this post is dedicated to __coughs__*

l'amo, il babbo{:

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY,

to all the guys out there ,

who managed to win their wife's heart,

and contributed to the world's BR.

before you go on, i must warn you that this post is abit too long, but the purpose is,

ITS FOR MY DAD,

sgt.ABDUL KUDDUS HANSEN.

i love you,daddy{:

thanks for making my birthday wishes come true for the past 16years or so.

you will always pretend that you wouldnt buy me anythg whenever i called you on my bday and me wishng for sme toy or sth.

and the nxt hour or so, you'd come knocking with my wish being wrappd nicely!

i love you for spoiling me so much,

and making me your favourite daughter.

and shwing me favouritism towards me rather than my other 2sisters.

i stl rememberd you piggybagging me ,

even when i was alrd pri.5 at that time.

you'll always be my no.1 strongest man!

and when i was very young, you'd bring me to the arcade/bowling/AIRPORT/MOVIES.

and it be just us two.

i know now, whenever you'd askd me,

i be like "HUH.im busy luh, so mny work to do"/etc

but the truth is, i rly wantd to go with you.

and thank you for being my best friend at the same.

when i was having a hard time with frndship/crush/etc and studies,

and when i cried the most lastme,

i just needed to call you and everything will be okay.

thankyou for entertaining me whenever i'm bored/sad/stressed,

or when you'd disturb me with my crushes and all.

&& thankyou for fetchng me&my friends aftr cricket frm schl when i askd to,

even if your work is at Jurong and you stayd in Woodlands.

and i love it whenever you act to be my age and acted cool infrnt of my friends.

hahah, especially if my friends were girls. right, daddy? HAHAH.

i know i've done nth much, but hey.

how mny daughters out there actually mean it when they say "I LOVE YOU DADDY."

you mean the world to me and no one else could replace you as my dad.

YOU COLOUR MY LIFE.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

l'amore(:

i am tired.

Ha sido un mes o dos desde que duro vi su cara. Esa sonrisa que siempre hizo mí se siente en casa. Trato de decirme que yo no le pierdo, y consigo bonito bueno en ello tiempo extraordinario. Es justo de noche, mirando fijamentearriba en el cielo sin estrellas con lágrimas abajo las mejillas, yo sé que no es verdad. Sé.
Ho tentato così duro per dimenticarla, l'amore. per un mentre, è sembrato facile. lei era fuori della mia vita per pochi secondi. ma è appena adesso che la memoria di lei continua a perseguitare me. E ciò sogno tuttavia un giorno, lei verrà correre sostiene nelle mie braccia, && mi dice che ogni momento eravamo a parte era l'inferno puro. Ma so, tutto mentre, sognavo. non succederà mai, il bambino. Il bambino, non mi posso si portarla che vedere ancora. perché so che quando ciò succede, i sentimenti ritorneranno ed avrò un tempo duro li lottando. la voglio appena sapere, ciò se lei era avere bisogno di qualunque aiuto, sarò disposto a tutto fare cadere per lei. lei sarà tuttavia il mio numero un bambino. Ma ciò non significa che vorrò che lei sostiene nella mia storia d'amore. perché ho trovato qualcuno nuovo e migliore. e ho dato la mia devozione intera a lui.

okay, im off now. and dont bother translating dude(: i need to get things off my mind.
Je vous aime aussi, le taré ! (maybe bffs know this line)

Saturday, June 14, 2008

14th June.

okay. i planned to stdy maths now. yes, its like 1221am now. but i've wasted this whole week on bloody outings. no wait, i dnt blame the outings, ofcourse! i ADORE outings with family and bffs.
okay, lets discuss how ppl get turn on by still images or evn anime. this is random. i mean, DUDES, they are still images. it spells grossness. okay, the point is, STOP SEXUAL ASSAULTS/ABUSE.

shizznit, i thnk i gta stdy @ smewhr whr i knw no one and no one knws me in order fr me not to be distracted. alright. i gtg now. STUDY. okay, holycow, holymum and all the holy-ness in the world, STUDY.

bye, i love you too. see you soon,2mre days!

this is still my favourite and its my lappy's wallpaper now!They say old habits die hard.

I say they're better off dead,

cause you were bitter and cold,

but still you burned me alive.

You held the match to my skin and poured the fuel on the fire.

You're not my favorite mistake.

You're just a simple regret

{edited}

went to swensons with family.

a total of 11people.

i had frosted choc malt fr myself.

and my brothers gt their bbrownie thgy.

looks yummy.
and we say my grandaunt and cousin.

they said i lookd darker.

grossness.

shoppd arnd and home time.

did i mention tht my uncle gt hme like 7am frm fishing? and he caught A fish. lol, bet hes gna brag abt it if i were to eat it. gross!

"I think I'm in love with you. You mean as friends? No... I mean for real. 'Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know... I try really hard, actually." - JUNO

who do you want to be? the guy i tell my secrets to, or the one my secrets are about?

Friday, June 13, 2008

FRIDAY 13th.

hellooo dudes.

HAPPY FRIDAY the 13th.

i woke up at like 1plus.zomfg.

i dreamt of a HG though.

haha, so cuteee yet so hilarious.

i calld it 'dangerous adventurous fairytale'

omg, rly very cute luh.

such ppl are hard to find in spore.

anw, im planning to cut my hair ltr on.

bt i dntkw hw i want to cut it.

shizznit. i was planng to tell the hairdresser to cut anyhow.

lol. dumbness.

till later then.

hahah, maybe i wont evn go to the hairdresser at all.

LOL.

{edited}

i went to the De 'N' Hair Saloon.

the purpose of me putting the shop name is cos they askd me to promote and brng frinds over. okay. they are frndly and nice. truly.

and i've got no more curls. howhowhow?

and my fringe is short.

"so you frm whch primary... uhm, secondary schl?"

"huh?! uh, im in jc."

"huh! jc! whaa, so small. i thght your in sec. schl"

and she tells her frnd i lookd too small(short rather) to be in jc.

and it goes on.

&& when we say "bestfriends"
...we mean always there for eachother when a guy hurts us,
rooting eachother one when we find the right guy,
never putting the guys in front of us,
and being brides maids when we get there.

you dont like me for who i am
i get that, i kinda expect that from you
but have you ever thought,
that if i change for you
someone special is going to miss the
old me.

I AM NUR AISYAH ALISZA ABDUL KUDDUS.

i love you too/

Thursday, June 12, 2008

i love}

{ugly here but the purpose is the msg i wrte on the sand dude!}

{we wantd to be artistic too. we tried}

{they are the best girls that God give me}

{ARTSY FARTSY? i TOOK it!}

{are you tempted?}

{spot my smile!}

went sentosa with bffs.

uh-huh, its just us three. so what? we had more fun than those tht went thr in huge grps.

okay, we played in the water most of the time though and we keep telling secrts and making wishes and chit chatting(all in the water).

shizznit, my face is blck now. yeah, and my family is like ranting at me fr being DARK,DARK and DARKER. those beans.

jamie brght her brownies and its darn niceeee and i brght fried rice in a big tupperware. thts our lunch and dinner. and we camwhored!

met dinesh aftr tht at vivo and we went to starbucks. and i saw a quite CG. right jamie? hahha. i thnk he is a CG luh.

i love you too

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

upside down}

Don't be afraid of death;
be afraid of unlived life.

- Tuck Everlasting

its raining, HEAVILY

will there be a rainbow afterwards?

for they say-

to see a real rainbow, you got to go through rain.

to see real love, you got to go through pain.

and its only 8.37 in the morning,

and it alrd rained cats and dogs.

tdy shall be study than.

sentosa soon,babes.

p.s - i've gt nth to blog abt.

thus explains the quotes and photos i found.

artsy fartsy?

That night I was freezing.
The music was loud and my dress was blue.

You said it complimented my eyes,

but truthfully, it was you that made me so beautiful.

Perfection is defined when your heart beats next to mine!

Dude, its time for you to stop.stop visiting me in my dreams.

i love you too!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

{tired and sleepy

{thus, an excuse for couple-fight!}

And when you look in my eyes,

please know my heart is in your hands.

It's nothing that I understand,

but when I'm in your arms,

you have complete power over me.

im stuck at NLB now.

doing PW.

atleast, kind of.

cant wait fr sentosa trip tmr(:

its like planned since lastyear

haha, and we gna be up to our silly thgs again.

There's something about the look in your eyes.

Something I noticed when the light was just right.

It reminded me twice that I was alive,

and it reminded me that you're so worth the fight.

{the reason why i dont envy those skinny girls(:}

{will you smile like this always?}

{the reason why we shld have flings and not depend on guys always!}

i love you too(: